It's 2:27 on Sunday afternoon. Lili is sleeping. I've been singing made up lyrics to You and I for about an hour. It's time for her next treatment. They just gave her a dose of Morphine and Loretab, hopefully she can sleep through what is about to happen. This is treatment number eight. Two to go. This is day eight.
I'm hopeful, but terrified. I haven't cried like this before. Somehow I know myself better now. I am surprised at how much I didn't know about myself. I've learned more about Jen too. I'm learning. I know more about the human body. I know more about what radiologist do. I know what the attending hospitalist is. I know what an infectious disease specialist does. I know why Primary Children's Hospital is so wonderful. I know more about my relationship with Lili. I like that.
Fear has been replaced by numbness, I think. Jen is a rock. She is stronger than me.
I am grateful for every smoochie Lili has ever given me. I love her. I knew that already. I guess I was still a little unclear on what exactly that felt like. They say love hurts. Excruciating. I want to watch her dance. I want her to tell me to stop dancing. "Oi, Da...Oi".
There are so many kids in this hospital. Many more sick than Lili. She still has her hair. Her heart works perfectly. We are encouraged. She'll be ok.
She is just so little.
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15 comments:
those pictures just break my heart! what a sweet little girl you have. mark and i are praying for you guys. wish we were closer so we could help you in some way. sending you our love!
Oh my goodness. I didn't know! What is she going through? Are you guys ok? Do you need anything? We will be praying for the cute Lili and your family.
Adams Family said...
I've been checking for a lili update all day...thanks so much for posting...
You all have been in our thoughts and prayers constantly.
We love you and know that we will be fasting and praying for her comfort and speedy recovery! What a perfect little doll she is.
*hugs*!!
We are praying for little Lili as well...we wish her a quick recovery..Good luck you guys!
Oh wow...
There are no words.
We love you guys. We will keep you in our prayers.
The kids & I pray for her all day. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help. We love you all!
we are praying. it's in the lord's hands now, i guess. please keep us posted, and let us know if you need anything even if we are far away.
i cannot figure out what to say. words really do fail you sometimes, don't they?
want you to know we are constantly thinking of you, praying for you and loving you.
I am so sorry that you guys have to go through this! We are praying so hard for you.
I shouldn't have read this at work.
I'm not even supposed to read blogs and now how am I supposed to explain the quiet sobs coming from my cubicle?
We love her too.
We love you.
You have no idea how many times we pray for you all each day.
I can't wait for her to boss me around.
I am so sorry to hear what you guys and Lili are going through. We will keep you all in our prayers. She is such a doll - the hospital picture breaks my heart.
I'm so sorry to hear your baby is sick. I hope that she gets feeling better soon. Hang in there.
What a sweet post. We are praying for you as well.
Ky- I can't believe that you and Jen have to be watching this and Lili has to be going through it. No one can understand what it's like to be where you are and I'm so sorry for that. I wish I could so we could talk about how awful it is.
I love you. We are all here for you. She is in our prayers and thoughts every day.
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